Dukes and Double Dukes
by Pseudo-L
Summary: Ray caught Pam and Archer and Archer has to stop him from telling everyone.


Archer was re-dressing himself when he saw the resident gay spy of ISIS at the door step of the storage room, taking a long drag on his cigarette and looking at Archer with a very amused grin on his face. Archer wasn't sure if that grin was because he was still only on his underwear and Ray was checking him out or if he saw Pam leaving that same room just a couple of minutes ago, or both. Ray was taking a chance to take a peek at Archer, only on his underwear and trying to dress himself quickly and rumbling some things to himself. Ray couldn't stand the guy but he had to admit he was a really fine man specimen, toned but not too much, almost with an almost hairless chest and surprisingly almost no scars ( for a guy who was almost shot daily). Ray could even try to ignore the two ugly tattoos the spy had in his back if they weren't so tacky. The big problem was he was a insufferable asshole, a hot insufferable asshole.

"So you and Pam…" Ray said in a very amused tone.

"Shut up Ray. Why don't you go do whatever you gay guys do and leave me alone" demanded Archer

"Oh yes that's exactly what I will do, like gossiping with my friends what I just found out"

Archer eyes got wider and he tensed. He couldn't have anyone find out about his fling with Pam, specially not his mom and specially not Lana. Lana could never find out. Leaving his pants behind (once again since he didn't finish dressing them), he caught his gun from the floor he caught Ray's arm who was trying to leave the room and pinned him against a wall in the room. Being manhandled by a almost naked Archer made Ray's dick twitch a little. Fuck that wasn't supposed to happen, Archer was an asshole and Ray hated him, although his dick seem to disagree with him on that matter.

I really need to get laid, the only reason your dick is getting hard. because I hasn't got laid in a long time, it is not because of Archer".

Archer's gun was now pointed to the blonde's face in hopes to intimidate him. Ad it clearly wasn't working cause Ray just took his cigarette to his mouth to take another drag. "You will not say a word about this to anyone. Specially not to mother and specially not to Lana" "And just what would I win with that?" questioned Ray blowing the smoke to Archer's face. He had nothing to lose, except his life maybe if Archer was mad enough to shoot the gun. But he was confident enough it wouldn't happen. Ray knew that Archer didn't have any dirt on him to blackmail him, he was way too cautious to for that. And he knew that Archer couldn't promise him to ask Mallory to give him a promotion. Mallory would ask him the reason for that and Archer didn't have a good one.

"Hey Mother I need you to give Ray a promotion cause he caught me shagging Pam." it didn't sound like a possible excuse to give his mother thought Archer

Yup, not gonna happen. He really needed to think of another thing.

"I will..." Ray nodded waiting for him to finish his sentence "I will let you suck my dick"

"Dukes!"

And now that was something Ray wasn't expecting that kind of answer, and he was always expecting the most unexpected things from Archer. But Archer letting a man sucking his dick was a thing he would never expect.

"I think I've told you before that I would never touch your dick in a million years." Ray recalled.

He wasn't lying if that body and dick weren't connected to Archer's personality he would give it a thought but since they were it would be a no (that and he was sure that Archer would use that later against him somehow).

"C'mon Ray, you know you want that." Archer lowered the gun. And Ray lighted up another cigarette this was getting to much weird. And his dick wasn't helping the situation, getting all hard and stuff... "your bon…."

"No! Are you that self centered that think everyone would love to suck you dick."

"Duh, of course" bragged Archer

"Sorry to bring you the bad news, like I said I wont suck your dick. And even if I did suck your dick which I wont I wouldn't be gaining anything. "

Ray thought if there was a good reason to keep this conversation going on. There wasn't one.

"Then let me suck your dick"

"Double dukes!" muttered Ray under his breath.

Was he dreaming, did Archer gone mad? Was Archer drunk? Was he really that desperate to hide that secret? People in the office would find out sooner or later, since Pam and Archer weren't exactly that quiet and discreet. Ray was trying to keep his cool but it was starting to get hard. Archer threw the gun to the floor and slowly lowered himself to his knees, and began unbuckling Ray's belt.

"NO!" Ray put his hands on the other spy shoulders to push him aside. "What is your problem?"

"I should be the one asking that! You are there with a pretty obvious boner and refusing a freaking blowjob! Don't tell you gays need kissing first...!"

Before Ray could even answer with something related to the "no shagging" policy of ISIS that only he followed, Archer mouth was over his blond spy froze and let his cigarette fall from his hand, he was totally in shock. Archer tasted like alcohol, a mix scotch and vodka to be more exact, it wasn't bad and reminded Ray that he was going to really need to drink a lot to deal with this exact moment he was living. And Archer was also a good kisser which explained why Lana and the others were into him. "Remember Ray he is an asshole, a hot, charming asshole."

Ray's hands were now on both sides of the brunette's head and kissed him back. If he was going to do that, he would take as much as he could.

"ARCHEEERRR! COME HERE RIGHT NOW!" they heard Mallory scream. They quickly separated almost out of breath, and Archer run to pick his clothes dress himself and run to his mother office.

" I've gotta go but next week after my mission we will continue this at your don't tell anyone about Pam and this just now, specially not to Mom. I promise if you do that I will shoot of your bionic cyborg legs and make sure you wont walk again.

" Ray lighted another cigarette. " Dukes, I need a smoke"

"And specially don't tell Lana!"


End file.
